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Comments from ChimneySweep69
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-08-17 05:04:26 | Sharing My Wife Amanda Chapter 1 | "like a pack of wild animals barely held in check, chomping at the bit to devour their prey." You murdered that similie. Wild animals don't have bits in their mouths to chomp at. Broken, trained horses do though, which is the opposite of the image you are trying to conjure. Proofreading is more than checking grammar. |
| 2018-08-24 04:30:28 | Wife Gangbang | The grammar is atrocious. Seriously though, fix it. You write at about a third or fourth grade level. |
| 2018-08-24 04:30:35 | Wife Gangbang | The grammar is atrocious. Seriously though, fix it. You write at about a third or fourth grade level. |