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Comments from 12talk
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-10-19 19:03:06 | Beach young girls, treated by friends, and lessons for her young daughtes | This would be more realistic if the girls were named Fatima, Nadira and Zarina... |
| 2017-06-07 16:40:56 | Lost Empire 46 | You alphabetized all your stories??!??! Christmas has come early! |
| 2017-10-31 21:08:46 | East of Nowhere Part 3- Trying Again- Revised | Fun story but not without it's problems. First, it is very distracting that Sasha seems to be spending days and nights inside the game, but you never talk about what happens to her body outside the game. Is time compressed? There are also inconsistencies that should be fixed, like Grayson says that Hartford is 12 leagues away but then just a paragraph later they are more than 8 leagues from anywhere. The farthest they could be was 6 leagues from anywhere, since 6 leagues is halfway... |