Assessing a young woman sent to the poor house suffering from Nympho Mania
It was an ordinary day really, I had recently returned home after a spell of active service with the County Militia and had decided to enter the world of business but finding father rather less well than I had expected I found myself acting as his deputy As Lord of the Manor he had duties at the Magistrates Court and as trustee of various charities.
Today it was the workhouse. A regular inspection to weed out iders and ne’er do wells and ensure only the needy were housed therein.
As per the norm several ne’er do wells absconded or absented themselves on hearing of my visit so it was just a small ***********ion which needed to be assessed.
Two elderly labourers, lame, so they claimed, yet they jumped high enough when I discharged my pistol into the earth between their feet. However their cries of pain as they did so were real enough.
A serving girl, badly treated by her father was allowed to remain while her wounds healed and while she sought work, girls fat with child were allowed to remain as were the elderly.
Which brought me to Zelda, a wild looking young woman of nineteen or twenty two or lord knows how many summers. A strange name and yet she seemed strangely cultured in some ways
“Matron, what is the story of this girl?” I asked.
“She’s mad sir,” Matron said, “Her doctor diagnosed Nympho Manier the inflammation of the Lymph Nodes.”
“Nymphomania is nothing of the sort Matron,” I exclaimed for though scanty my knowledge of medicine at least extended far enough to discern Nymphomaniac far from being a trial was something much prized in the bordellos of the Eastern Lands where we had recently been fighting, why one diseased Nymphomaniac had laid low half of B company with Egyptian Clap.
“Well her father Sir Thomas Craythorne cast her out and she came here for sanctuary,” Matron declared.
“Is this true?” I demanded.
“Yes,” said the girl in a thoroughly disinterested manner.
“So do you have swollen Lymph Nodes or do you want to spend all day fucking?” I demanded
Matron, poor woman, nearly had a fit!
“No, I am chaste but I have urges, too powerful to resist and I have to thrust things into myself,” she said “Why am I telling you this?”
“Because I have seen girls like yourself in foreign lands,” I said, “They come to a sad end usually.”
“How so?” she asked.
“In bordellos, they get the fuckings they crave but they seldom survive for long,” I explained, “Used abused and abandoned.”
“I just use a courgette,” she explained and when I looked confused she said, “A small marrow.”
“Have you never had a male appendage, the truth now,” I asked. She shook her head, “Nor Dog nor Donkey?”
Matron was frantic, “My Lord please!” she whined.
The girl shook her head.
“She just lies abed with that thing in her,” Matron explained.
“Well she won’t avoid a cock for long here,” I declared, “I am away to Manchester on the morrow so I shall take you with me and see if I can find a sympathetic Madam who will protect you and allow only the cleanest men to use you.”
“What, send me to a brothel?” she gasped.
“Indeed,” I agreed.
She gasped “But father had a fit when I said I wanted to be a courtesan and fuck men all day.”
“Well you can’t stay here,” I insisted, “You can earn your crust on your back easily enough, and indeed a good living, why I’d pay a shilling and more to poke you as would a good number of other fellows when you’re scrubbed up perfumed and powdered.”
“I’d want a damned sight more than a shilling,” she said nastily.
“What ever,” I replied, “Collect your traps, then come with me if you want my help finding a good berth or go where ever you may.”
I sent her away and swiftly checked the accounts, signed them off and went to depart.
Zelda was waiting by my horse, a small grip containing her worldly goods, “It’s not far,” I said, “You ride I’ll lead.”
She swung up side saddle, and I led “Ned” away up the track. Half a mile later and out of sight of the poor house I stopped, “Straddle him like a man,” I suggested “Rub your self on the saddle leather as he moves.
“What” she demanded.
“Don’t tell me you’re wearing pantaloons, they are unhygienic, the quim muscles need air to circulate to remain healthy,” I explained.
“They hold my Courgette it,” she explained.
“What, surely you don’t?” I gasped
“Oh yes, half of one nearly,” she declared.
“Then pants off and legs astride,” I ordered and I reached up as she eased her pants down and helped her swing a leg over and sink down on to the saddle.
Sheer joy lit her face as her quim felt the soft leather and the courgette reached ever further inside her, I swung up behind her and gave old Ned a whack.
He was old and cantankerous and barely bothered to move more than a half hearted canter but his motion and my squeezing of Zelda’s breasts soon had her well into the arena of ecstasy.
“Oh god, it’s too much stop” she pleaded. The motion had afected me also, A solid shaft of muscle now stood erect and showed well above the top of my breeches.
I swung down and helped the shaken and exhausted Zelda down also. There was a nearby wall I helped her to ot and she stood bent at the waist gasping for air, She did not see me drop my breeches but she gasped when I grasped the now very badly beaten green courgette and she absolutely shrieked when I thrust my pink version deep inside her.
“You evil man that’s,” she said, “Quite delightful really, Oh god is this fucking, will I have a baby?”
“Yes,” I said, “Enjoy it my angel, I have not had a gallop in weeks and my balls are full to excess and the need to expel is paramount.”
“Oh lord, did you plan this?” she said.
“From the moment I saw you,” I admitted.
“I could see it in your eyes, “ she admitted, “I knew you would mount me,”
“Did you want me to?” I asked.
“Yes,” she admitted, “Though any man would do, not a common man, but a proper man, an officer, someone who would care for me and not cast me aside.”
“Look I’m fucking you not offering to wed you,” I pointed out and just at that moment as the sun set casting an orange glow over the hilltops so I started to shoot my cream deep inside her.
“Oh lord, that is,” she sighed.
“Has the fire of passion abated?” I asked.
“Yes, I feel whole,” she said, “How do you feel?”
“Content,” I admitted, “For a while, my sap should rise again within the half hour and I dare say we can fuck again before we get to my parents’ house.”
“Yes, I should like that, where did my courgette go?” she asked.
“I shall be your courgette for now,” I promised, “ I have been deprived of female companionship long enough and I intend to bang you until your quim lips are red raw and the neck of your womb tender from the constant blows of my helmet upon it.”
“You say the sweetest things,” she giggled, “What will your Mother say.”
“Nothing, we shall not tell her,” I insisted.
It started raining, there was nowhere to lie when I became hard again, so I had her lean against the trunk of a great oak tree and raise one leg so I could shaft her again and after another twenty minutes walk we found old Neds stable had fresh hay so she lay on her back and we conjoined once again so that was very pleasant.
I took Zelda into the kitchen, I asked cook if there was anything to eat and mother turned up,
“Who or what is this?” she asked indicating Zelda.
“Zelda Craythorned your Ladyship,” she said.
“Not the bloody Nymphomaniac,” Mother exclaimed.
“Oh yes," Zelda explained, “John fucked me three times on the way here, I think we’ll get along famously”
“I thought you fucked vegetables?” Mother explained “Carrots or suchlike Leeks.”
“Courgttes, you should try one,” Zelda suggested.
“Oh I have, with a husband like mine they are rather essential.” Mother explained.
“Mother!” I protested.
“Ask yourself why your father could not do the inspection,” Mother suggested.
“Did you set me up?” I queried They had. You just can’t trust parents.
“Just make sure she is not in your bed at cock crow or you’ll be wed in common law.” she added.
We didn’t hear the bloody cock crow as we were too busy fucking, and afterwards I was to shagged out and bloody happy to care