Sam and her brother Andy, their feelings for each other growing every day, honestly and openly discuss the possibility of a sexual relationship, discussing the social taboo, criminal restraints, family, and secrets
They awoke together, brother and sister, bodies still entwined, Sam’s leg tossed casually over Andy’s, Andy’s arm crossing his sister’s midriff in a possessive way. Sensing her brother waking seconds after her, she turned on the pillow and their gaze locked for long seconds before she spoke. “Any regrets?”
“Are you crazy? Absolutely not. But I’m glad we stopped when we did, Sam. What you did for me was fantastic,” he leaned into a kiss, “and if it ends here, if we don’t decide to go any further, you need to know that it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.”
“Easy, bro,” and lowering her voice she shyly said “it was a hand job, Drew. To a lot of my friends at the hospital it doesn’t even count.”
“It counts for me, sis. It was amazing.”
“Well, let’s not forget about me; you didn’t even get to Heaven’s Gate on me and you had me cumming like a freight train, Drew. My god, I’m not sure I can ever look at a guy’s lips the same. Certainly not your lips, bro.” As she said this she could feel the tingling again in her breasts, felt her nipples becoming hard, erect, and felt the tingling descend to her pussy. “Seriously, Drew, we really need to think about this. We really need to think: do we want to do this again? I know, I think, I do, but is it right? Can we accept the consequences? We really need to talk.”
“I know, everything you say is true. We both have to think, we both have to decide. That’s the minimal responsibility for both of us.”
With that they arose and Andy gathered his clothes while Sam stripped the bed and folded it back into its couch arrangement. Andy scanned the room for evidence of the weekend’s events, found three condom wrappers, and recalled that either Julie or Sam had already disposed of the condoms. He sniffed, nodded to himself, and opened a window to air out the room, ridding it of its funky scent. He then went upstairs and showered, feeling the water changing from hot to cool as Sam began laundering sheets, towel, and miscellaneous and inculpatory clothes. As she did so she glanced at her watch and calculated the time before their parents’ expected return; ample time to wash, dry, and store the linens, she thought.
“Toast and eggs ok?” Andy asked as Sam entered the kitchen.
“Perfect. I’m famished.”
“Oh? And what did you do to work up an appetite?” At which she punched his arm lightly then hugged him from behind. “Seriously, Sam, whatever we decide we have to be super careful with Mom and Dad around. Mom’s like a seismograph; she reads signs we don’t even know we’re giving. She has always done that.”
“I know. No idea where this is going, Andy, but you’re right. It’s good I’m in residence at the hospital all week, but weekends will require real concentration, even if we decide, you know, that we’re not going anywhere with this.”
Their day progressed almost normally, each wondering if they’d ever have another ‘normal’ day. A few household chores, laundry finished by Sam, kitchen cleanup by Andy, a coffee date for Sam with friends and a baseball game on TV for Andy and, finally, Andy’s start to dinner for the family, ready on their parents’ return from the cottage.
As Andy prepared to drive Sam back to her residence their father interceded and announced “I’ll drive Sam back; I have hardly seen her in almost two weeks now. It’d be good to catch up.” Sam and Andy’s quick glance asked the same question: do they know anything? Do they suspect? It was their first frisson, passing up their spines.
When they had a second together, Sam gathering her things in her room, he came to her and quickly said “it’ll be good practise, Sam, we have to learn to act normally around them.”
Agreeing and giving him a quick, furtive kiss she said turned and left, telling him over her shoulder “see you Wednesday”.
Andy was glad it was exam time; studying enforced some distraction. Sam felt the same about her classes and ward work, until Andy picked her up Wednesday afternoon for their coffee date.
“How are you feeling?” began Andy.
“Well, honestly I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m ready to decide, but I’m really glad we can talk about it. I don’t think I could talk with anyone else about it.”
“Me neither. How about we try a “pros and cons” analysis? How about cons first? I’ll start: incest,” the first time either had said the word, the taboo, out loud, “is a criminal offence in this state.”
“It’s a huge social taboo; remember the Galbraith twins?” She was referring to her high school classmates. “Someone saw them once ‘doing something’, heard ‘some sounds’ and the rumor spread that they were having sex. The whole family moved.”
“I remember. My turn: what about pregnancy? Kids?”
“What about partners? My husband, your wife someday? What happens then?”
“All true, every one,” said Andy, “but my biggest worry of all: what about us? We love each other; will that change? Will we regret this the rest of our lives? I don’t want anything to come between us. I don’t want any regrets.”
“We’re making this sound like a pretty bad idea, Andy. Can we start on the pros?”
“I think I already did; I love you. I really love you, and giving you pleasure, making you feel the way you did last Saturday night was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that good about anything. Ever. And I don’t think that will ever change.”
“I feel exactly the same way. I know I won’t be your first, thanks to Julie and my getting us all into this, but I think I’d really like you to be my first. I have thought lots about this, Andy; it’s not very hard for someone like me to find someone to have sex with, but I can’t imagine having sex with someone I didn’t love, or at least have very strong feelings for. And you I love.” Instinctively at this she took his hand, caressing it lightly with hers.
“It would certainly fill our needs, from a simple sexual perspective. We’d be having sex with someone we love, someone we know, and with someone who’s totally safe. Someone we could absolutely trust.”
“I’m not worried about pregnancy,” said Sam, “you already know about the endless condom supply,” each laughing quietly at the thought, “but if we decide to do this…if we decide to commit to each other, Andy, I’ll go and see Dr. Fulton and, ummm, make arrangements.”
“I’m not worried about the criminal offence, Sam. When was the last time you heard of any charges of incest?” I don’t think the authorities worry about it. Someone has to really screw up to get charged.”
“And that’s the other part; we have to be so secret, Andy, more discrete and careful than we’ve been about anything in our lives, if we’re going to do this. Can we keep a secret like that?”
“I know I can. I know that I want you so much that I’d pay any price to have you, on any terms. I’ve thought about that part, Sammy, and I think it would become instinct with us, second nature. A new normal, you know? We’d probably learn our triggers, what situations are dangerous, what details we have to think about. We’d have to be vigilant, trying to sense if Mom suspects; I don’t think Dad ever would. And our friends, especially girlfriends and boyfriends; can we hide this from them? I think so.”
“Which takes us to spouses. That’s a quantum leap, Andy. Hard to hide something like this from them. What do we do? Do we end it when one of us marries? I’ve read a bit about this; there’s not much on it, very few honest true accounts, but that seems to happen in many situations; once one marries they end the relationship. And, from what I can see, sometimes the need doesn’t really go away.”
“That’s one of the hardest parts to think about,” replied Andy, “maybe we cross that bridge when and if it comes? I’ve thought a lot about one thing: we love each other. We might both want this, we might both need this. So who are we hurting? From what I can see the answer is: no one. At least not for the foreseeable future. We wouldn’t be hurting anyone. The only possible people we might hurt would be ourselves; are we ready for that? That’s what we have to decide, Sam.”
“That’s a very, very good point. I need to think about that, and I need to think about everything we’ve said. There aren’t any fast or easy answers, are there, Andy? God, I wish it was easier, but I understand why it isn’t.” And then, looking away, she said “I think we need a cooling off, Andy. I hate to say it, I hate to do it, but I think we shouldn’t be together this weekend. Even assuming we wouldn’t be ready to have sex…if that’s what we decide, I think it would be too soon. I need more time and I think you do to. So one of my friends in residence has invited several of us to a sleepover at her parents and I’m going to accept.” Sensing the immediate sadness that descended on Andy she gave him a sad smile herself and said “hey, it’s only for a weekend. And you’ve got exams.”
“Always thinking of me,” he said, and ignoring the other patrons, lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it, holding it against his cheek.
They gathered their things, returned to Andy’s truck, and returned Sam to her residence.
Andy’s weekend passed slowly and, studying for his exams, his parents assumed his silence, his self-isolation, and his lowered mood were all the result of the exams. They were wrong. He was grateful for his studies, as they gave his mind surcease, a rest, even, from his thoughts of Sam, their previous two weekends, the profound changes in their relationship that had already happened, and the possibility of the greatest change possible between a sister and a brother yet to happen. But would it? They had yet to decide. It wasn’t a simple case of one having already decided and waiting for the other. This, they understood, was something to decide, as it was to do, together.
On Saturday night his phone rang and his mood immediately brightened as Sam’s photo and number flashed on his screen. “What’s up, bro?” was her instant opening.
“Not much, just studying, just hanging with Mom and Dad.”
A pause, her voice dropping, “Umm, no, Drew; the girls are heading up to the lake so I think I’ll go with them. I, uh, I need the time…alone…to think about this.”
“You won’t be alone. You’ll be with a bunch of young women.”
“You know what I mean,” and he could hear the smile in her voice, “you know what I mean, Drew; if I have to say it I will: alone without you.”
“I know, I was just messing with you. I miss you, Sam. I’m actually amazed at how much I miss you, and I’ll miss you tomorrow. Coffee Wednesday?”
“No, I think it will help both of us to keep our distance for just a few more days, Drew. Maybe a phone call? Would that do?”
Andy’s heart dropped. “Yes, I guess I’ll take what I can,” knowing already how much simply hearing her voice tonight had lifted his spirits. “Talk to you Wednesday. And Sam?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” And with that the call ended. Andy looked at his watch and decided he’d had enough studying for one night. He descended the stairs to the living room, heard the muffled TV in the den, found a soda in the refrigerator and followed the muffled sound into the den. Finding his parents engrossed in a movie he sat in an armchair and watched with them to its end, enjoying the close, quiet familial mood.
“How’s the studying going?” asked his mother.
“Oh, ok. My marks are pretty good so far so I”m not sweating it. Classes are done so all I have to do for the next week is study and write the exams. I’ll be done by next weekend.”
“I’m sorry we won’t be here to celebrate with you, Andy, Dad and I hare heading back to the cottage for the weekend; looks like it’ll be good weather. Want to come?”
“Thanks, but I think I just want to chill. No idea of what Sam will be up to but I think I just want to depressurize for a couple of days. I’ve already lined up a few landscaping jobs so I”ll start working next week.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
And with that Andy rose, left his parents, climbed the stairs, showered, and climbed into his bed. He began to think of Sam. His mind could no more stop thinking of her than he could stop breathing. He imagined her at her phone, the tumult of the you women’s sleep party in the background. He imagined her teaming up with another student nurse in a makeshift bed. He imagined next weekend, their parents away, the house to themselves, teetering together on the profound decision that could change their lives. And he felt himself moving inexorably toward that decision, his subconscious, it seems, pushing, trying to surface, trying to tell him what he…what they would do. He was surprised to find himself hard, very hard. He reached over to the small table by his bed, grabbed some tissues and began to stroke himself. He knew that until his need was satisfied sleep was impossible. As he stroked himself more, faster, harder, all thoughts, all images vanished from his mind, pushed out by the one that had begun to dominate all images, all memories; Sam, lying beside him last Sunday morning, her body stretching in feline languor, naked, innocent…and beautiful. The most beautiful body, he thought, that he’d ever seen, as suddenly his entire body stiffened and his cock began its familiar pulsing, launching jet after jet of his cum into the waiting tissues. “Oh god, Sammy, oh god…I…uunnhh…I want you so much…I…need you, Sam,” fell back against the pillow and whispered as quietly “please, Sam, please need me as badly. Please.”
How could he know that, across town, as the laughing tumult of Sam’s sleepover quietened, as she slipped into a makeshift bed on the floor with a classmate, as she listened to the quiet chatter around her change to quiet breathing as student after student fell asleep. Sam began to replay her conversation with Andy, to parse it sentence by sentence, to feeling her own feelings, even in the midst of a party, of loneliness and knew it that it was Andy and her separation that was the root of that. And as she turned to her side, felt her classmate sleeping close to her, her unbidden thoughts flew to one singular wish: that it was Andy that was in her bed. She moved slowly to touch herself, to caress her breast, then pinch her nipple, then caress herself as her hand descended to her pussy, cupping her mount, squeezing lightly, then, checking her sleeping bedmate, with more insistence until her body quickly shook with her quiet orgasm.
And finally, with that, and neither knowing of the other desperate pleasure that each, in thoughts and memory alone, was giving the other, Andy and Sam almost simultaneously fell into sleep.