Pinocchio sought out Gippetto for help. He explained to Gippetto that every time he had sex with his girlfriend, she would get splinters and complain. Gipetto said to Pinocchio, "No problem. Before you have sex next time rub your nose with some sandpaper first."
A few days later, Pinocchio ran into Gippetto. Gippetto asked him how sex with his girlfriend was going.
"What," says Pinocchio, "who needs a girlfriend?"