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Comments from stillers7
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2014-11-27 04:23:39 | Bruce and Selena | Actually I was thinking of something along the lines of Oswald and Liza. She is another hottie, and anything involving Mr. Cobblepot is sure to be non-consensual. Watching the show, the actual writers seem to be putting a lot of sexual tension into Bruce & Selena's character arc. |
| 2014-11-22 14:35:15 | Bruce and Selena | The camera followed Alfred down the hallway, and what happened in the study was left unseen. I've filled in that blank. I had planned this as a one-of, but if I see a similar situation that will fit both the the on-screen plot and what I have developed here, I will continue. Here I saw Selena in a similar way to Fish Mooney, using everything at her disposal to grab control over someone who can benefit her. |
| 2014-12-20 00:33:05 | Further News About 'She is the One' | chapter 21 was great, the writing keeps getting better |
| 2014-09-24 11:21:28 | Being More Social - Chapter 8 | homework? are you still in high school? |
| 2014-12-02 07:14:26 | All Good Things pt.2 | You've got a good plot line started. If you haven't already, I'd recommend outlining the story arc a good bit into the future. As others have said, slow it down a little. If you're telling a romantic story, it might not be believable that a girl that age gives her first BJ that quickly. It's already been written, but perhaps in the next chapter you can examine WHY it happened that way, and if Kaylee has any regrets about going that fast. Make notes about what type of personality each of the characters have so that you can be consistent from chapter to chapter and have them act in ways true to their nature. In One Thousand Apologies, Hannah needed a few weeks and some alcohol for her first BJ, then had to think about what she did afterwards, although we find out she wasn't totally inexperienced. Also, watch your punctuation, but generally grammar is good. |