| 2011-05-15 21:49:49 |
Big Brother Bodyguard ch 1
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Holy crap where did you go to school? I agree with Fix'm; Good story line but the spelling errors detracts from the story overall. I don't want to discourage you from writing. One more thing, "Spell Check" would not have caught the misuse of THROUGH when you meant THREW and KNIGHT when you meant NIGHT. |
| 2011-06-09 16:41:58 |
My Thanksgiving
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It was a bit rushed but a good story. I gave it a positive vote. Would like to see another part with more character developement. |
| 2011-06-09 17:03:37 |
The Hotel- REPOSTED
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Yeah, you've got to write more. Slow the pace a little. |
| 2011-06-30 22:02:38 |
Body Of A Man, Mind Of A Machine 6: Power And Passion
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I have enjoyed this series very much. I was wondering if she was on birth control? If so then the prescription would be expired after a year and she would have to see a doctor to renew it. Might have to have a parent sign for her. If no birth control she could be pregnant and would compromise their flight from the law. Also he could have pleaded self-defense after the first killings but now he is seeking out thugs and has become a murderer. Forensics would prove self-defense. |
| 2011-07-04 22:26:28 |
Hot Summer
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Proof read, proof read, proof read. Good story but did I mention you should proof read? |